Peyton Manning: Just Say No

Is there an athlete out there who does more commercials than Peyton Manning?  I really don't think there is.

From Oreos to Gatorade to Buick, Manning is front and center in the world of athlete endorsements.  

We decided to compile the "Top 10" Manning commercials.  Some, quite frankly, are awful, where others do a great job.  With Manning being the only constant in the execution, you have to wonder what some of these creative shops were thinking.

10. Papa John's Two Million Pizza Giveaway

http://youtube.com/watch?v=

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This is just awful, so I don't want to devote too much time to it, but welcoming Peyton back to football is somehow tied in to pizza.  I don't know.  Just trying to make this commercial logical is giving me a headache.

9. Buick Verano

http://youtube.com/watch?v=

2URz_fApsC0[/youtube]

Unlike the Buick commercial with Shaq, at least Peyton is actually DRIVING the car, rather than just sitting in it. I also do appreciate all the signal calling to use the voice-activated On Star feature (lots of "hut huts" going on here).  This commercial does a better job fitting with his personality as a quarterback.

8. Gatorade

http://youtube.com/watch?v=

7Ac2cZPOD00[/youtube]

Peyton shows us all how he learned to throw the football in three easy steps: wipe the windshield, elbow your brother (poor Eli), and flick the booger off your finger.  This commercial is a bit older, but no less relevant (or funny!).

7. Sports Center

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And speaking of elbowing your brother…Eli looks so YOUNG in this commercial.  And I love that Archie is randomly there – as if he can't ever NOT be a part of what his two NFL sons are doing.  Cooper dodged a bullet!

6. Sony

http://youtube.com/watch?v=

7DzQ2_9XGAo[/youtube]

This is the odd yet popular combo of Peyton playing ping-pong with Justin Timberlake (commentary by Erin Andrews!), giving us a sneak-peek of how life-like watching sports in HD can be.

5. Double Stuf Oreos (and trash talking with the Williams sisters)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=

RIlp9wFGNVk[/youtube]

Something about a Double Stuf Racing League?  It really doesn't matter, because the hilarious banter between the Mannings and Williams sisters overshadows the actual product – they could be talking about anything.  

4. XBOX

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Even though this commercial is almost ten years old, what is funnier that watching Peyton try to learn how to trash-talk in his mono-tone southern drawl?

3. Sprint 

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Manning with a fake mustache and awful wig talking about how great Manning is – while touting NFL Mobile (with a flip phone – do people even still have those??).  

2. Reebok

http://youtube.com/watch?v=

vNmy5ky_m5M[/youtube]

Another Peyton vs. Eli situation, since we can't get ENOUGH of those.  (Where is my sarcasm font???  Can someone CREATE a sarcasm font).  This time, they're racing each other in their fancy new Reeboks.  At least they don't manufacture and sell their own, custom, $300 shoes.  (coughcoughLeBroncoughcough)

1. Mastercard – Priceless

http://youtube.com/watch?v=

4FlwJwL6kdo[/youtube]

And finally, we have probably the best one of them all – Peyton, as a fan, cheering on all his favorite people (accountants, insurance agents, etc).  Aside from loving that he's, you know, tailgating in the parking lot of an insurance company, I love all looks he's getting – like he's a total whack job, and the looks that some sports fans MIGHT get, depending on how crazy they're acting.  

Other than the season he sat out because of his injury, has there ever been an NFL season where Peyton wasn't in at least one commercial?  Doubtful.

 

Reva Friedel

About Reva Friedel

Reva is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and the AP Party. She lives in Orange County and roots for zero California teams.

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